Luke Hudson Richards<3

The first picture is my favorite, it was the second day that we were home. I can't even put it into words how much I love him. He makes me smile, I get butterflys just thinking about him growing up. He is growing so fast, I'm trying to cherish every memory, everytime I feed him, every smile, every little noise he makes. I can't believe that one day he will be going to college and all grown up. I thank God every night for the gift he has blessed me with.

Where to start?

Life has changed dramatically over the past year. I live back at home, I have a 2 wk old baby boy(Luke), I'm back in school trying to finish up my degree so I can start teaching. Over the past year I've lost alot and I've gained alot. I look at life completely different, I'm thankful for so many new things. For example the fact that Luke is healthy, I'm thankful for my parents supporting me through everything, I'm thankful for my true genuine friends. I owe it all to God for protecting me all these years, I've learned a huge lesson by becoming a single mom, but I wouldn't change one second of it. That child is what motivates me, he makes me so happy, and I love him with every part of who I am. Ya know I look back sometimes and get sad because I feel like I should have experienced more before he got here. But then I remind myself I'm only 20 and if I want something bad enough then I can make it happen. Over the past 10 months my relationship with my mom
has grown so much, not only do I look to her for advice but she is honestly my best friend, I look at all the stuff she put up w throughout high school and I'm shocked. But I guess that's what parents are supposed to do right. So it's been two weeks since I had Luke and I'm starting to feel normal, I'm ready to work out and start dancing again. I'm really going to push myself this next year. I want to be the best I can be.
I've been praying alot lately for God to keep us safe and guide us throughout this next year. I pray that Luke has great role models and that he becomes a Godly gentleman.

anxious is an understatement.
i dont wanna get myself worked up if i dont end up having him tomorrow, but at the same time i feel like i can barely breathe i am so nervous.


i finished up the financial aid part of the school crap, applied for a loan and now i just have to get my classes and books.

yada yada yada.
off to eat dinner w my momma.

today.

has been very productive. it is 3 days from thanksgiving.
i went to the doctor this morning and he said everything was looking good except my bp(bloodpressure) was a little high and i had protein in my urine. my response was "what in the world does that mean?!" he said its early signs of preclampsia, which i had NO clue what that was either. but needless to say i have to go back wednesday at 8:30 to check my bp and urine and if it has increased then he will induce me that day!! that is the day before thanksgiving! i am not prepared for that. i feel like someone has thrown me on stage, cranked up the music, and said free-style for 30 minutes...oh and you will be judged! maybe that was a bad analogy. oh well, my brain isnt working correctly lately.
and to top it all off my feet are completely swollen, sounds dumb i know. but its almost to the point where i can not walk. i would post a picture but im honestly too embarassed haha.

so today i finished filling out my fafsa and got all of that taken care of. now i just have to apply for a tiny student loan. and i start my classes on DECEMBER 28TH!!! holy cow, i am excited yet nervous. i am only taking two classes to start off with and the classes are 9wks long & all online which is perfect since Luke will be here any day.

so today i had a dr apt., registered for school, and got out the christmas decorations. oh and im making a mix for the hospital. music to keep me relaxed and in the zone so i dont freak out.
-so far it consists of: michael buble, new moon soundtrack, new john mayer stuff, leona lewis, snow patrol, coldplay, and some of the elizabethtown soundtrack.

im sooo excited, amanda comes to texas tomorrow!!!! yay.

Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once, just once, understand.

— Sarah Otto

Nothing has turned out as we expected! It never does. Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what we get and are thankful it’s no worse than it is.

— Gone with the Wind

Did you ever notice that people give up on love as they get older? When you’re a little girl, all you want to do is fall in love. Then when you’re a teenager, every guy you meet you think is ‘the one’. Then when you’re an adult and you have been hurt from the breakups as a teen, you’re not interested in love anymore. You just don’t want to be alone, so you settle for someone you might even know isn’t your soul mate. I know so many adults that aren’t truly where they want to be. I just try to think about what they might have went through to make them settle for second best, and I hope that doesn’t happen to me.

You changed my life. You changed my life, and I’ve known you four days. This is the start of something really big, but right now, I gotta go.

— garden state

I understand the impulse: the impulse to want to put out your hand and want someone to be there at the end of your reach. To want someone to be close to. To want to kiss or touch, even if it’s wrong. The point is, you can’t control these feelings. Even if they’re wrong, they’re still there.

friday.

less than two weeks.
its november, a week away from thanksgiving! time is going by so fast. i love this time of the year. the weather, lights, leaves, decorations, music, food, cookies, presents, and this year i will be getting an extra special gift.
when i stop and actually think about it i get scared out of my mind!! i mean i'm a mom now, i have a son! it just sounds so crazy. it is a ton of responsibility, and i pray everyday that God guides me with my decisions to make this little boy the most respectful, happy & loving lil guy out there.
anyways........
i go to the doctor monday and he should tell me when its looking like it will all happen(if that sentence made any sense haha)

monday- doctor apt.
tuesday-amanda is coming in town!!!
wednesday- prep'n all the food for thanksgiving & new moon!!!!
thursday- thanksgiving with all the fam & friends.
friday- no plans yet, but im sure hang with amanda &/or katie since they are both in town.
saturday- cutting our christmas tree down<3

the past couple of days i have been waking up at like 6am and staying up till like 7am. it is soooo annoying. im already not sleeping well and then being disturbed by the lil sis getting ready for school. i try to be nice but it just gets annoying all of her energy and socks in the bathroom floor & then the dog barking. haha now im just being a moody pregnant lady.

i swear this kid is a insomniac. he never sleeps. it's like he is judeeey chopping me all the stinking time!

sorry if this entry is random, i have a bad case of ADD right now.

I’m not scared of losing him because, let’s be honest here, I never had him to begin with. I’m just scared of living the rest of my life knowing I didn’t tell him how I felt, wondering if he felt the same way. Rejection says I tried, regret leaves me with nothing but ‘what if’s’ for the rest of my life.

I like that you ramble when you’re nervous. I like that I know that you ramble when you’re nervous. I like that I still make you nervous.

— Dawson’s Creek

somedays i feel as if there is too much that i wish to do with my life. as if the dreams i dream are somewhat only dreams. i want more than anything to be more than a dreamer, i want to accomplish everything i set my mind to. i want to make beautiful music, see amazing places, make life long friends, i want to eat wonderful food, and dance elegant dances… yet it all seems so far away. the life i live is nothing extraordinary, most days i stay at home in sweats and listen to music. what to do now? now that everything seems to be out of place, and making no sense at all. all i know is that music is what keeps me going, without beautiful songs and pieces and hope of finding love i would be lost…-jrichards

She’s been everybody else’s girl…maybe one day she’ll be her own.

— Tori Amos

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

— Ernest Hemingway

It’s not okay because he made me laugh. Because I didn’t have to pretend to be anything other than who I am when I was with him. Because I don’t believe that stuff about finding your other half, but because I do believe that what you look for is someone who makes you a better person when you’re with them, who changes you for the better, who makes you the best person you can possibly be, and because I thought I had found that in [him].

— Mr. Maybe by Jane Green

I won’t call again, I promise, but I need to see you face to face… because I’m never as good as when you’re there…and I can see myself the way you look at me. And I’m sorry. If we could just get together and find some time to talk. Lets say all the things we never said.

— - Almost Famous

She was not happy and she was tired of pretending. If she left, she could become whomever she wanted. She could reinvent herself. She could come back to a changed world because she would be a changed person who no longer needed the masks she wore.

— Doris and Andrea Smeltzer, “Andrea’s Voice”

It’s when you hold eye contact for that second too long or maybe the way you laugh. It sets off a flash and our memories take a picture of who we are at that point when we first know “This is love.” And we clutch that picture to our hearts because we expect each other to always be the people in that picture. But people change. People aren’t pictures. And you can either take a new picture or throw the old one away.

— I Wrote This For You

Write it on your heart that each day is the best day of the year.

— Emerson

Accept everything about yourself, I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end, no apologizes, no regrets.

— Clark Moustakas

If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be amazed at how many people don’t think of it when it’s relevent. Seriously, just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.

— chuck klosterman

Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.

— Good Will Hunting

Missing someone isn’t about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.

I have wasted thousands of kisses on you… kisses that I thought were special because of your lips and your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you, when you smiled. But now I know you didn’t mean any of it. You just save it all for your songs. Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight.

— That Thing You Do

Because some people hang on when they should really let go.

blank?

i don't know how to explain how i'm feeling right now.
i don't even know how to sort the feelings im feeling.
anxious.mad.depressed.lonely.strong.excited.hesitant. & those are just a few.
anyways, i have been listening to john mayer's new album, and i am completely in love.
it is a soft/mellow/love-filled album.
currently my favorite track is "edge of desire" the lyrics are wonderful.

also, here are some random quotes. enjoi


There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.

— Elizabeth Gilbert

You became what you thought everyone wanted you to be. But that’s not who you are. And that’s who I wish you were.

— I Wrote This For You

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?

— Alice In Wonderland

Her face was as lovely as the first rain of the summer; her heart could hold gently the pain of the world.

— Jodi Picoult

Don’t you dare tell me nothing matters. Everything matters. Every fucking drop of rain, every ray of sunlight, every wisp of cloud matters and they matter because I can see them and if I can see them then they can see me and I know that there’s an entire world that cares out there, hiding behind a world that doesn’t, afraid to show who it really is and with or without you, I will drag that world out of the dirt and the blood and the muck until we live in it. Until we all live in it.

— I Wrote This For You

I laughed and said, “Life is easy.” What I meant was, Life is easy with you here, and when you leave, it will be hard again.

— Miranda July



You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
- Dr Suess

It is strange to think, I haven’t seen you since a month. I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face. The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter.

— A Knight’s Tale



She’s not like that now. She knows better . She knows now that people lie , and promises can be broken as quick as they are made . She understands that she might never be loved , and too quickly good things fly in front of your eyes before you can reach out and grab them . She knows that you can’t change or help time, so every now and then it will just run out. There isn’t a place for everyone in the world, so if you’re standing alone for awhile, that’s why. Not everything in life comes easy , but when you work the hardest, that’s when it’s the best . You can’t always expect people to care, and even when your best friends stab you in the front, don’t think for one minute that they didn’t already aim for your back. They missed for a reason. She has found out to soon, that in the end, you are your own best friend . Everyone will be broken at some point in their life and more often than not , its gonna hurt like hell . But you can’t stop it. You can’t change your fate. Some things are meant to be and all the pain you go through will end up resulting in something huge . You don’t know what it is and when it happens, it will hit you like a ton of bricks. At some point, when you have experienced everything you can, the words ‘Life’ and ‘Risk’ won’t mean anything to you anymore. But don’t try and change that. Stuff like that is meant to happen. Overtime, certain things no longer have an affect on you . And that happens because that’s the way it supposed to be . But you’ll learn all that later in life when little things like a sunrise or a spring rain start to matter. But it might catch you off guard and happen sooner.

Me? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, of what I did, of who I am… but most of all, I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I’m with you.

— Dirty Dancing

Whatever we are waiting for - peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance - it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.

— Sarah Ban Breathnach

I’m just a fucked up girl looking for my own piece of mind.

— Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together there is something you must always remember: you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think, but most important of all, even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you.

— Christopher Robin

But just because they dont feel it too, doesn’t mean that you have to forget.

— Regina Spektor

hope for the hopeless.

so today marks 35 weeks. every morning i wake up hoping that today will be the day...but i guess he will come when he is ready. if i can be 100% honest, i'm excited but not in the way that i should be. i am excited to wear normal clothes, to actually be able to breathe, to not have to pee every 5 minutes. i mean don't get me wrong i am excited to meet the lil bug, i cant wait to actually hold him in my hands. but it is all surreal and a bit overwhelming. but i try not to dwell, i have put it all in God's hands and he is going to take care of it.

lately i have been really wanting to roadtrip or travel, not sure if its cause i've been couped up in this house. but i miss taking polaroids and driving with the windows down and the beach. part of me says "oh you will never get to do those things again" but i have to remind myself that my life is not over, its just starting down another path...

i'm ready to be done with school so i can be teaching, supporting myself and chasing my dreams with my lil guy :)

i have found myself lately "wanting" love...and then i catch myself and say oh lord no i dont! i dont want to be "dependent" on another person, i am not ready to let anyone in to not only my life but to Luke's life also. none of us want to be alone so we all go through these spells of being lonely, but i just have to stay strong cause i know in the end, the years and months of me being single and waiting will be worth it. God will send the perfect person, in his own timing.

i tell myself every morning that there is nothing to worry about, that everything is in his hands and he will take good care of us, and i honestly do believe that. i am so grateful for my amazingly supportive family. even when i get annoyed they are still there encouraging me. one day i will take my parents on a trip and repay them for everything :)

"If people are truly, madly, deeply in love with each other, they will find a way."- unknown.

"Life's too short to not experience the madness of love..."

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate… without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn’t fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart… and if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away”

— Sex and the city

"I’m just… happy. I’ve never felt that before. I’m just exactly where I want to be."- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

"Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened."- Dr. Seuss

quotes...

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out." Roy Croft

"We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we a

re." Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes

"Love means sharing the world with someone else." The Valkyries by Paulo Coelho

"If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." Vincent Van Gogh

"These two arms of mine
will always be here waiting
to carry you home." Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

"I want to spend the time I have doing things that makes my heart rage." The Great Buck Howard

"When I roll over
I can still smell you in the
hollow where you slept" Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson.

"I believe in true love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe love conquers all. And that doesn’t mean there’s not gonna be hard days or difficult things to deal with, because there will be. But finding that person who does it for you and knowing that person loves you back it just makes everything so much easier." Haley Scott, One Tree Hill

Go ahead and cry, i'll catch your tears. Jileen Russell

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." Ernest Hemingway

"Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?" Benny Hill

What have I learned? Man, where to start. I learned that I am much stronger than I thought I was…I learned that there are parts of me that have been sleeping for a very long time, silent and secret parts that have been aching to be awakened. I learned the fragility of life and the whispers breath that holds it balanced, I have learned the weight of that breath. I found out that I need to be touched more than I ever thought, that the importance of being shown my worth in physical gestures is unbelievably large, much larger than being told. I have learned what it feels like to not be able to stop smiling for reasons only you know; I found the places in me starting to wake up. I have learned these things, and countless others, and I have learned that it is a scary thing to let yourself learn…it is a very frightening thing to allow yourself to wake up, those silent aching parts asleep so long. -What Have I Learned? by Tyler Knott Gregson-

"There will never be
anyone, anywhere that
loves you like I do." Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson.

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be." Anne Frank

Love is something you can't describe like the look of a rose, the smell of the rain, or the feeling of forever.

xoxo.

I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to move on when the one you love walks away from you. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.— Neil Gaiman

wait it out.

so the new imogen heap cd has finally come out, and i must say it is amazing. sheesh it should be after waiting for 2 years. anyways...

not much is new, my mom picked colors to paint the room, i finally got all the wallpaper off the walls. i've been hanging at home daily i dont feel motivated to get all dressed up and go anywhere. but i did clean my room, it took 3 hours and about 75 hangers to hang all the clothes that were thrown around my room. im just ready to feel comfy in my room and hang my art on the walls and put all my books on the shelves... idk. right now it feels like im living in a hotel, not all moved in and stuff and its been over 5 months!

i feel like im getting bigger daily. its weird, i don't like gaining weight but i can't really help it ya know.

someone asked me how old i was the other day, and i sat there for a minute and completely forgot. at first i said 19 and then i was like wait? no im not, am i? i completly forgot that im 20 haha. sounds stupid but it doesnt feel any different, i just feel behind in what i want to do with my life. but i know it will all work out accordingly.

lately days seem like hours. i look at the calendar thinking its monday and its already saturday. time is flying by which is good i guess but it also quite scary to think that after that one day everything will be over and i will have to pick everything up and start my life over. not pick up where i left off, because i don't want to be that person anymore. but start to reinvent myself so i can be a better person and actually go after my dreams and not get distracted. i hate distractions, they always come at the "best" times don't they...

right now i really want some cheese pizza and some cheesecake. im done writing, my brain is going haywire. im going to read...

music.

lately, i have been jamming...
death cab.
alot of the twilight soundtrack.
alot of the elizabethtown soundtrack.
and jason reeves.

i have found out, the reason i love both twilight and elizabethtown, is because of not only the stories but the music that is played during the movies.
i have many other favorite movies, but the music used in them are just not even comparable.
music effects your mood, your soul.
:)

my random ramble for the day.

is it weird?

that i have found certain things that i want coordinated into my wedding.
which let me remind you is no where in the near future. prince charming has not even showed up yet. haha.
anyways, i found the song i wanna walk down the aisle to.
what i wanna have my first dance to.
and how i want some of the reception decorated.

i told my mom once i finish paying off the last of my credit card i am going to start a savings account which will be solely for my wedding, i wanna be able to have no budget when it comes to things like my dress or the location. may sound crazy to some people but i think its pretty smart.
(even if i put 5 bucks in a week it would still be something)

what triggered all this wedding talk, is the show "say yes to the dress" and of my childhood friends Nia is getting married. yes she is only 2o but she has met the love of her life and i am soooo happy for her. i can not wait for that to be me... yes i can and will wait but you know what im saying.

off to watch twilight for about the 6th time in 3 days. :)

i dont wanna miss you more then i already do...

wow, i have definitely been slacking on the whole writing/blogging.
i have been writing in my journal thought which is a plus. Not much has changed or happened. Virginia and her family came down last week and i got to spend alot of time with them which was great. Aj and i sort of came to some common ground, i mean we have to atleast stay civil because we will be connected for the rest of our lives whether we like it or not... to be honest its not about us, its about someone else and we just have to focus on that.
I would like to say that i have been quite "strong" through this whole process, i dont really cry, even if i am completely depressed i try and not show anyone, i would rather everyone think that i am doing perfectly fine. But lately i can't help but cry. There is so much i feel like i need to say, i feel like there is sooo much i should be doing, that i am slacking or wasting time... i don't think i can even write about it without breaking down. so subject change.

i keep pressing fast forward and picturing my life 8 or 9 years from now, after i have done all the traveling that i desire. in the house of my dreams with my family, planting flowers in my flower bed, rearranging my furniture, taking painting lessons, writing my book, and just being stable and content. it may seem weird to say but i want it so badly. i just want stability and consistency. my life currently is full of the complete opposite. i have never been down this road, and it's like im running full speed with a blind fold on. i pray that God knows what he is doing with me. i pray he will speak to me and give me peace.

i will never be the same person i was, my life is forever changed.

there is so much more i need to say, but right now i just don't know how...

this is your song.

i hope ya don't mind...

blank.

lately i have had so much to write but no motivation to actually write.
i feel like if i don't start writing now he/she will have so many unanswered questions, so i feel the burden to write...not in here of course but in my little journal.

recently i have become even more lazy, i don't even realize what day it is until Sunday rolls around and it's time for church once again. i watch the same shows daily: deal or no deal, csi/law and order, the golden girls, ellen, the nanny, and an occasional disney movie. most people would say they would love a lazy day... well i have a lazy life.

BUT, today marks 20/40weeks. which means we are half way there. i am beyond excited, Virginia is getting more involved and it only makes me feel more sure about my decision.
i'm going to vent real fast so please ignore( we have gone half way through this process without your input or "love" or "support" so please do not come around anytime soon and act like you want to be a part of this. k thanks.)

i have become very fond of Elton John, not sure why? maybe it is his voice? or maybe his lyrics... but i have been jamming him quite often.

to do list:
pay off credit card
set up bedroom
print off school stuff for Hillsong
start walking daily
start writing daily.

ok enough of this, time for sleep?

There's just something I feel when I see you...

Birthday.

My 20th birthday was this past Monday. If I can be completely honest I don't even feel any older. I felt old to start with, I didn't need a birthday to remind me that I'm no longer a teenager. It's weird to think that just a few years ago I got my license, and a few years before that I was soooo excited to be 13 cause it had the word teen at the end. Nowadays birthdays are just another day... Seems like the years are flying by. Which makes me think, what am I doing here. Time to get a move on and figure out where I'm going...

i am far more delicate than you can possibly imagine...

vacation.

i'm leaving for Colorado today, its family vacation time. i will be back next saturday. hopefully this trip goes smoothly, i doubt it but oh well. i mean who gets excited about being in a car for 14 hours with there family, plus the situation im in. oh and to add to that, were going to visit my dad's parents so even more family :)
did i mention that i am no longer allowed to ride a bike, which completely blows! how can you go on a trail ride without anything to ride.
enough complaining. maybe i will meet some people while on this lil extravaganza...

time to pack, eat, shower, clean, and run a few errands.
i will try taking some pictures and posting if i have reception.
xoxo-j

love.

a lot like love, is my new favorite movie. it is absolutely adorable. i can't wait for things to start happening, with the perfect timing of course. but still... i miss you.

lately.

i haven't been inspired at all to write.
even if i hear a lyric or read something that sounds amazing or sad, i just feel so shut down to "love." i am not in the mood for anyone else right now. i wish that wasnt the case, but life goes on. we all get stuck in ruts sometime or another right?

17/40 weeks...i still have a long while.
a long while alone.
a long while getting bigger.
a long while stuck here.
a long while to fall in love with myself again.

i miss him so much, it might not even be him i miss but just the thought of him. i mean im holding onto one single night, a mere 7 hours we spent together. but i remember the simplest things... the star, his eyes, the kiss, what i was wearing, the songs playing, how i was so sleepy but yet so awake. its all just a dream. people continue with there life not thinking for a second about anyone but themselves...but not me, i will always remember.

It’s when you hold eye contact for that second too long or maybe the way you laugh. It sets off a flash and our memories take a picture of who we are at that point when we first know “This is love.”

And we clutch that picture to our hearts because we expect each other to always be the people in that picture. But people change. People aren’t pictures. And you can either take a new picture or throw the old one away.

happy 4th of July.

today would be the perfect day to be with your boyfriend.
cute little kisses under the fireworks, cooking out, cupcakes, pickles, swimming, and all that jazz.

"i miss the part where we were moving forward..."


happy birthday hansel<3

Maybe all along you've been running from the truth...please stop. Everything I own is in your control. Send
Me out a lifeline.

I will never stop thinking that you were the one...

I will...

Forget about you. I am determined. Even though that's not what I want at all.

I wish I was there with you. Actually I wish I was anywhere with you! I just want to see once more.

Sometimes love doesn't come from a boyfriend. Sometimes it comes from God. Be true to him, and he will keep his promise and you will never be alone. He is the only guy who will never leave you alone. Don't fight his love.

I hate how to them going days without talking is normal But I can't go a day without thinking of him atleast 50 times. I miss talking till we fall asleep and just knowing that your there even if you are hundreds of miles away...

sorry for not updating the past couple days, i was out of town at church camp with our little kids from church... so here we go. here are just a bunch of random quotes...



i wish you would tell me exactly how you feel.

you were right. nothing will ever be the same between us.

you broke my heart. and we never even dated. i hate you for not talking to me anymore, but at the same time i cant get you out of my mind. what happened?

slowly im falling in love with you. you act like you barely care about me. all i ask is for your arms around me. everyday.

all i get from you is mixed messages.

Everything that needs to happen, will happen, in the time that it takes to happen, the way it was meant to happen. You need to trust in that.

.romeo.and.juliet.

All I'm saying is, I think about you everyday. I don't know how but I care for you after only spending a few short hours with you. What I felt that night was the real. I have never been kissed like that. All I'm saying is it's sad to say that its over before it even started... I wasn't asking for a guarantee, just a chance that you could care for me too.

You deserve happiness...

"You are a completely wonderful person, and whomever you decide to give your heart to -- should forever be grateful for it. You're worth a phone call. You're worth the time, YOU ARE THAT IMPORTANT. The person you are with should respect and love you enough to make you feel completely wonderful."
-hm,yes?ok.

When love begins, it's easy for you to make something out of nothing.

When it ends, it's much harder to turn that something back into nothing.
via: i wrote this for you.

Please

Don't forget to look before you fall..

"its that cant eat, cant sleep, reach for the stars, world series kinda stuff..."

Serendipity.

So what, you meet someone and have the most amazing night of your life... And then leave it all up to fate?

do you even notice?

The words you say to me are unlike anything that's ever been said...

"I want to feel something real. I want to be intoxicated by someone’s very presence. I want the butterflies and mixed feelings. I want confusion. I want the mood swings. I just want to feel."

stranger.

So hello there,
How are you amazing
It's nice to finally meet you,
Been patiently waiting,
been waiting just to see you,
to tell you I dreamed you,
now I found you so call off the search
cause I found my stranger...-chris august.