so today marks 35 weeks. every morning i wake up hoping that today will be the day...but i guess he will come when he is ready. if i can be 100% honest, i'm excited but not in the way that i should be. i am excited to wear normal clothes, to actually be able to breathe, to not have to pee every 5 minutes. i mean don't get me wrong i am excited to meet the lil bug, i cant wait to actually hold him in my hands. but it is all surreal and a bit overwhelming. but i try not to dwell, i have put it all in God's hands and he is going to take care of it.
lately i have been really wanting to roadtrip or travel, not sure if its cause i've been couped up in this house. but i miss taking polaroids and driving with the windows down and the beach. part of me says "oh you will never get to do those things again" but i have to remind myself that my life is not over, its just starting down another path...
i'm ready to be done with school so i can be teaching, supporting myself and chasing my dreams with my lil guy :)
i have found myself lately "wanting" love...and then i catch myself and say oh lord no i dont! i dont want to be "dependent" on another person, i am not ready to let anyone in to not only my life but to Luke's life also. none of us want to be alone so we all go through these spells of being lonely, but i just have to stay strong cause i know in the end, the years and months of me being single and waiting will be worth it. God will send the perfect person, in his own timing.
i tell myself every morning that there is nothing to worry about, that everything is in his hands and he will take good care of us, and i honestly do believe that. i am so grateful for my amazingly supportive family. even when i get annoyed they are still there encouraging me. one day i will take my parents on a trip and repay them for everything :)
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